[WR #07] “Convincing” is Not a Sales Strategy - Try This Instead
“People sometimes need to be convinced to do something that’s good for them.”
I read this comment on a LinkedIn post recently and it made my left eye twitch.
As a strategist and coach for purpose-driven founders, my clients and I talk a LOT about business development and sales.
In fact, their sales process is usually the first place we look when it comes to optimizing their model for scaling because, across the board, there’s always so much potential for improvement there.
And because my initial sales training came from more traditional sources, like:
A Fortune 25 “big bank” whose MANY lawsuits were featured in the news for having deceptive sales practices
A car sales manager who taught me to “load my gun” with the questions I asked clients during discovery so I could “shoot them with their own bullets” when they had an objection later
More online coaches and influencers than I can count who lead with fear, manipulation, and lemons to squeeze on the gaping wounds they open up when trying to sell their services
… when I read that comment about “convincing”, my old paradigm sales radar immediately went on red alert.
Luckily, over the last nine years as an entrepreneur, I’ve been able to take the good (selling as a form of authentic service) and leave the bad (convincing, manipulation, and loaded weapons).
And I’ve learned firsthand what actually works to not only make selling feel better for everyone involved, but ultimately what also then translates to better results.
Here’s why convincing doesn’t work…
When we think we need to "convince" someone of something in order to do business with them, the sales process starts to get really dicey really fast.
Convincing is manipulation. Full stop.
And my best bud Kelly would tell you it’s also a completely disempowered state - for both you AND your prospect.
When you’re trying to convince someone to do something, it means that the other person shouldn't trust themselves to know what's good for them.
And it also means that you don't trust that the logical dots will connect between what they need and what you do.
And - to the LinkedIn guy’s point - while there's definitely an opportunity to help people see what they perhaps can't see for themselves about what's good for them…
There is a better, more powerful way to help people see the value in their own transformation.
The most empowered and in service way to do that is to leverage another, way more valuable “C” word:
Curiosity.
In sales and business development, our job is to be authentically curious with our prospects (and ourselves!) about whether or not what we offer is what they need most to get where they want to go.
The linchpin here though is that authenticity in your curiosity.
My former employers, coaches, and mentors who tread a little too close to the Dark Side for my liking were also quite curious.
And they were very good at asking questions to load their guns and convince people to trust someone other than themselves to know what they needed.
(Remember how I mentioned manipulation? There it is…)
Authentic curiosity is where you’re basing your questions on a foundation of service without attachment to the outcome.
Those guys were always attached to the “yes” they needed to hear from a prospect, and they wanted to hear that “yes” more than they wanted to actually help the person in front of them.
Selling is an art that strikes a balance between service and enlightenment.
Convincing doesn’t land anywhere near those two things.
And attachment to outcomes makes it wildly difficult to find impartiality and true alignment with what’s best for both you and your prospect.
All of that said, one of the big optimization opportunities I see in my clients’ sales processes is their ability to ask good, strategic questions.
Pairing authentic curiosity with good, strategic questions creates the opportunity to open your prospects eyes to the potential that exists for them when they work with you.
But it’s critical to tread lightly here - get too strategic and suddenly your inquiry turns into manipulation. Don’t get strategic enough and your questions won’t help either of you properly discern what they need.
TLDR Summary - if you want to pick up some quick revenue wins, do these three things:
1) Stop trying to convince people to work with you
Make this easier by listening for moments when your mind wants to say, “yeah but…” in conversations with prospects
2) Ask better, more strategic questions
Find alignment between what you do and what the client needs, but with authentic curiosity and service as your foundation. (I expand on this in my free Conversion Hacks Guide - grab it here if you want more on what this looks like…)
3) Be unattached and totally willing to walk away
Use sensations in your physical body as an indicator of attachment - for me it usually feels like a vice squeezing on my chest when I want the “yes” more than I want what’s best for us both
And remember, there’s zero power in convincing.
Curiosity is powerful service. Use it wisely, Jedi :)
See you on the other side.
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